If you are Divorced and looking for a Life Partner, then this post is for you...
We all want a loving romantic relationship.
We all want someone special and understanding with whom we can share our life.
Love is Simple. It is not Easy.
Why?
It's simple because all that is required is for 2 people to become sweetness in this dessert called relationship.
It's not easy because both want to stay as sugar.
They are afraid to dissolve.
They are afraid to let go.
They are afraid to trust.
They are afraid to "die".
Why?
Because of past hurt.
Because of past traumas.
Because of past abuse.
Because of past mishandling.
Because of past heart break.
Because of past trust issues.
Because of past scars.
It's not only you who carries all this baggage but also your potential life partner.
And this is where the problems begin...
You meet people; you go on dates; you spend months with them and suddenly a Red Flag pops-up and you feel as-if you don't know this person at all. You start questioning your choice. You find yourself in a situation where it seems almost impossible to back-out and at the same time impossible to go-ahead.
And if you are someone who was married and it didn't workout, then the fear of falling in the same trap becomes even more paralyzing.
All these experiences can make a person shy, scared or skeptical to even approach someone and start the conversation.
And yet, the desire to have a loving partner to be with, remains as-is.
So, what can be done differently this time?
This time, evaluate your next life partner using this strategy...
Based on my years of experience in the field of Relationship Coaching, I have identified that there are 3 major factors that MUST be considered when evaluating a potential match.
Factor 1: Requirements
This means the requirements and expectations you have from your life partner. This also includes requirements and expectations of your parents and other close family members such as caste, location, kundali match, astrology match, family background, family history, financial status, education, job status and so on...
This factor is pretty logistical in nature and relatively easier to evaluate in comparison to the other 2 factors.
Factor 2: Maturity
This means checking the Emotional Maturity, Emotional Intelligence, Mental Agility, Mindfulness and Spiritual (not religion) growth of the person.
This is harder than the first factor and often people spend weeks and months to gauge this. The reason this is hard to evaluate is because very few people have the right kind of skillset and capability to evaluate this.
The sad part is that despite the obvious lack of skills, most people don't take any professional help. How do I know this? Because from the last 22+ years I have been seeing cases related to failed marriages, toxic/abusive relationships that became like that because the couple didn't know how to evaluate this factor AND they didn't take any help either. When I bring those points to their attention that the signs where right there in front of you from the beginning, then they realise and tell me, "I wish I had met you 10 years ago or 15 years ago".
So, after spending months with a person, you figure out that they are not so mature as you expected or as they pretend to be (and you call it off) or the other person acts so well to hide their immaturity that you fail to notice (and hence fall for it).
Factor 3: Red Flags
This is the hardest factor to evaluate and based on my experience, I can tell you that every marriage that ultimately fails or becomes toxic or becomes dysfunctional is because those couples missed evaluating this factor entirely.
This is about how aware BOTH the partners are about their own Red Flags, Fears and Insecurities which can ultimately lead to the demise of that relationship.
Note that I'm specially saying their own Red Flags. Because often people can very clearly see the Red Flags in the other person but not themselves. It takes a highly Emotionally Intelligent and Mindful person to acknowledge and recognise the red flags in them and work on them too.
And it is impossible for you to evaluate something that you are not even aware of.
So, now, let me bring all this together for you...
In order to reach 1 right match evaluate the following 8 criterions:
Your Requirements
Their Requirements
Your Emotional Maturity
Their Emotional Maturity
Your awareness of your own Red Flags
Their awareness of their Red Flags
Your intention to address your Red Flags
Their intention to address their Red Flags
You may have to evaluate 20-30 profiles in order to reach that 1 right match. That's an average stat I'm sharing with you.
I totally understand that it is a time consuming process but it is very important if you want to avoid the mistakes done last time and do it correctly this time.
After all who better would understand this than you that if you won't "waste" this time now, then life gets wasted with a wrong partner later.
If you like, then you can delegate this work to us.
How you ask?
A team of Professional and Experienced Relationship Coaches at Anamify will do the evaluation of these 8 criterions for you and only when someone passes all these criterions, we will share the match with you.
You never know who is supposed to become the medium for you to meet your Life Partner. Perhaps it's Anamify 😊
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