Feb 245 min read

The Fear of Falling in a Wrong Relationship Again

Updated: May 1

It's completely human and understandable to feel fear about falling into a toxic relationship again, after having experienced one in the past. However, Love and Connection still remain our fundamental needs.

No matter how much we wish to avoid the pain of getting hurt, staying alone causes us enough pain already. Most of us want to share our life with someone and give and receive love.

While the apprehension is understandable, getting back on track to understanding ourselves and choosing the kind of life we want to live is necessary for us to be happy and fulfilled.

Where do you stand currently?

The first step to solving any fear is to understand the situation correctly. To be honest and be aware of where you stand in your situation.

So that we can move forward with clarity.

How have you been feeling?
What kind of thoughts keep you occupied?
Have you lost your focus or motivation?
Have you become a workaholic?
Is your health impacted?

Each person can have a different reaction to any such situation. However, inside there is turbulence.😔

What do most people do?

Unfortunately, People choose the following:

1) Instant Gratification

Most people tend to ignore the impacts of such situations on them and their lives until they break or it's too much to take. Rather than looking at the issue and solving it, they end up choosing solutions that give them Temporary Relief. Losing hope and trust even further. They end up feeling more demotivated.

2) Deny/Suppress/Avoid

Most people choose not to even talk about it. Thinking them not talking about it will solve the issue.

And therefore, they don't spend any time understanding how deeply their situation is impacting them.

Or they choose to believe that 'Time will heal everything', 'Magically the pain will disappear'

"The output will change without doing anything about the input"

Leading to issues that become harder to handle later.

To help you explain this, below is an infographic for you that explains "How does this fear impact the life of a Sensitive Person?" Play along with us and see what you resonate with. We'll take it further later.

Which one of these emotions, fears, or behavioral changes are you observing in yourself?
How are these things impacting your life?

I hope you have made a note of the important pointers which apply to you.

Feel free to ask you questions regarding resolving these issues in our community group, We'll be answering all your questions there. Join our community here.

The Catch-22 Situation

Here's the catch-22 situation for someone going through this,

I am afraid to try a new relationship, as I wish to avoid pain. I am in pain because I can't and don't want to be alone.

So, Why are you stuck in this Chicken and Egg Situation?

Looking for Guarantees

One common question in such situations is, "Can anyone be 100% sure that I get into the next relationship and nothing will ever go wrong there?" So, they want a guarantee for their life, that now everything is going to be perfectly happy ever after. Let me answer this for you in three parts,

Part 1: Fool me once, Shame on you. Fool me twice, Shame on me.

Falling into a trap is okay. But what if one continues to fall into the same trap?

and then question why am I losing confidence in myself.

Wouldn't it be better to learn 'WHY YOU KEEP FALLING IN THE SAME TRAP'

It's easy to find fault in others. It's easy to point fingers at others.

It's tough to look at oneself. One's limitations, fears, insecurities, and hidden agendas.

Part 2: Make New Mistakes.

You can learn to identify red flags so that you can identify in what shapes and forms they can show up.

You can't eliminate problems in life. You also cannot avoid making mistakes.

But that doesn't mean you can't learn how to minimize them and get prepared to make new mistakes.

Part 3: Pain is Inevitable. Avoiding pain leads to avoiding love too.

Imagine you are 90 years old. Lying on your DeathBed. Thinking how living in fear, you lost the chance to love.

There will be pain in life. Not being in a relationship is painful, and so does the end of a relationship.

Yes, relationships can fail. But are you alone on this?

Don't all relationships in the world have a chance to fail?

And if there is a chance of failure, isn't there a chance of success, too?

If your focus is completely on failure, What does it tell you about yourself?

There will be pain. Which one of them would you choose?

One that keeps you small, or one that helps you evolve and live a bigger life.

At least be honest with yourself and reflect on these questions,

Do you feel taken for granted, or used by other people?
Do you face trouble setting Healthy Boundaries?
Do you find yourself anxious, overthinking, worried, and stressed?
Do you feel people don't value you, you don't fit in, you are always being judged?
Do you feel nobody understands you?
Do you feel you'll never succeed in life?
Do you find yourself being addicted to certain foods, pastimes, or activities?
Do you sabotage your life?
Do you procrastinate and avoid taking action?
Do you get overly attached to people too quickly?
Do you find yourself stuck in toxic relationships just for the sake of having someone?
Do you find yourself always pushing people away?

Kudos! Thank you for being honest and answering these questions. We completely acknowledge that it can be hard for you to acknowledge these. But the thing is, you can't shed light on something until you acknowledge its darkness.

Where you want to arrive

Now, Imagine if you could one day walk with

Empowered energy
Full of inner strength
Patience
Clarity and Direction
Ability to communicate assertively
Able to handle emotions
Decisiveness
Responding constructively not reactively
A heart full of love ready to share love
And graceful enough to happily receive love because you know you deserve it.

It indeed takes some time to reach from Point A to Point B.

But we all can. And I am not talking just about myself. I am also talking about hundreds of people who have worked with us over many years.

What now?

Work on the roots, the fruits will take care of themselves.

We believe in helping people heal their roots. The fruits take care of themselves. So, all the situations outside will be very well taken care of once you have healthy roots.

Let me show you what the journey feels like first...